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  • Orit Wittenberg

Before and after: Behind-the-scenes look at a sales page makeover

A full-of-life psychologist with an amazing offer, and a sales page that fell flat. Here’s what wasn’t working, and what we did about it.

Liba Lurie is not your typical psychologist. She’s fun and funky, a bit edgy, and anything but generic. But you’d never have known it from looking at her program’s sales page.

Here’s how fellow copywriter Miriam Shwedel and I reworked the page to:

✔️ Convey Liba’s uniqueness

✔️ Call out to her target market

✔️ Convert!


Problem 1: Generic hero section

The previous hero headline was not bad, but the messaging was vague and generic. Was this a program about anger management? And who was it for?

It also made 3 big promises without giving me any hint of how the magical transformation would happen.

Here’s the before:

Here’s what it looks like now:

Why it’s better:

  1. It’s clear what problem Liba is solving and for whom.

  2. It validates prospects' pain and conveys Liba's USP: her safety, warmth, and authenticity.

  3. It passes the 5-second test. It’s immediately obvious what this program is about.

  4. Liba’s unique voice comes through. Liba swears in her course. We wanted to include a suggestion of this in order to both mimic her authentic voice and to clue leads into her style. (If they aren’t interested in cursing, Liba’s not the best fit for them.)

  5. There is a single, focused benefit.

  6. Prospects already have an idea of what to expect from this program.

Problem 2: “Hanging” pain points

The BEFORE page did address a long list of pain points, but it jumped straight from the pain to the solutions.

We wanted to:

✔️ Agitate the pain

✔️ Create a story-based narrative that flowed

✔️ Convince prospects that Liba’s was the best solution for their problem

We added an agitation section:

And then what I call a bridge – linking the pain and agitation to Liba’s solution:

Why it’s better:

  1. The agitation brings the readers in, like whispering in a large room. Now we’re getting personal. This answers the “why” and the “so what” of Liba’s program.

  2. The page flow is no longer choppy. It’s smooth, logical, and reads like a story.

  3. It generates curiosity. Forget my parenting for a while? Tell me more...

  4. It primes readers for the sections to come, where they’ll delve into the “how” of her program. They’re ready to hear more. They care.

Problem 3: Wishy-washy target audience

The old page did not spell out who this course was or was not for. Was it relevant for fathers? For grandparents? For mothers of adult children? Of infants?

To increase clarity, we added this section:

Why it’s better:

  1. Prospects know exactly whom this program is for.

  2. “All stripes and types” is inclusive so prospects know there are no hidden social criteria.

  3. It reiterates three of the main pain points that bring clients to Liba.

Problem 4: Overly-detailed program outline

The outline was long and detailed. Here’s a snippet to give you an idea:

And here’s how it looks now:

Why it’s better:

  1. Every word of copy needs to pull its weight. People don’t need all the details. The titles are enough to build trust and provide an overview.

  2. It’s easier on the eyes. Clutter-free and more readable.

  3. When it was long, it pulled readers away from what we really wanted them to read. Now we keep the page flow intact.

Bottom line?

Liba’s current page is persuasive, engaging, and – perhaps most importantly – fun!! It reflects her unique personality and her authentic, real approach.

See it live!

Here’s to many more Libas and their many successful sales pages!

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